The 48 Hour Rapid Detox Diet
Where does it weigh in?
It is estimated that Australians spend upward of $1 million a day on weight-loss products, pills and potions, according to the Victorian Centre of Excellence in Eating Disorders (CEED). If I were to hazard a guess as to when this figure spikes, I would say that it would be now. Late September, when the sun has just started to tug warmly on one’s self-consciousness, reminding us that it is time to peel away the layers of clothing that currently hide a multitude of comfort-food sins.
Unlike the insulation that you may have recently installed in your roof, the insulation that we accumulate around our bodies during Winter does not burn away quickly. Approximately nine out of ten weight-loss diets are unsuccessful, and may even increase weight gain. But while the statistics may be stacked unfavourably against one’s love handles, I have to admit that the rapid approach of a sweltering string bikini season is still far more persuasive than any cold hard fact.
You need only type in “48” into the search bar before Google auto-completes “48 Hour Rapid Detox Diet” to gauge just how popular this craze is. While the same happens with the “Lemon” in “Lemon Detox Diet”, who would want to spend seven days pretending like real food does not exist, when according to the website you can “drop a dress size in a weekend” with the 48 Hour Rapid Detox?
The 48 Hour Rapid Detox claims to use “the same detox secret relied on by celebrities like Jennifer Anniston, Oprah Winfrey and even Angelina Jolie.” It is so secret, that they are happy to send you a free trial (conditions apply).
I fear that this may sound mildly cynical so far. To be fair, some perhaps partially fabricated advertising shouldn’t have an effect on an evaluation of the product itself. In a bid to offset this, I should make it clear that I actually did lose two kilograms within the 48 hours.
May I preface the following sentences by saying that it would not be an accurate review without them, but that I will complete them as promptly and tastefully as possible. Unlike I expected, this loss of weight was not due to any highly unpleasant side effects. In fact, from someone who easily drinks two litres of water per day anyway, other than an increased desire to urinate, all bodily functions continued for the most part as per usual. Just to be sure, I kept a diary of anything that went in, out, up or down during the 48 hours – including emotions.
The detox consists of replacing four meals a day with 125mL of the Body Cleanse Concentrate, diluted with 125mL of water. Other than being “boosted with super-fruits Açai and Goji”, the main ingredients of the product are orange, apple, pineapple and peach concentrates, along with some added vitamins and minerals. Once you get past the colour (the shade that you always see on fences – mission brown?) it tastes pleasant, like intermittently chewy fruit juice.
“Most detox diets are torture as they take so long, but 48 Hour Rapid detox is easy,” boasts the website. This is not entirely true. While 48 hours is comparatively shorter than other detox diets, the product (as previously stated) is effectively just fruit juice. And I don’t recall any fruit juice that could be nutritionally equivalent to, nor as satisfying as an actual meal.
I’m no real foodie, but there is no doubt that this program leaves you craving culinary delights. In my opinion, it clarifies and intensifies your sense of smell – fantastic perhaps if you are a wine connoisseur. Not so fantastic when you can’t drink anything other than fibrous juice.
So when your neighbour decides to have a large cook-off on their barbeque towards the end of your first detox day, one can only hope that your neighbour has bulletproof glass windows.
As your stomach clings to the juice, and rapidly tries to visualise that it has something more exotic to digest, I am happy to report that it shrinks. Thus, the hunger gradually dwindles by the second day.
However, as this happened my muscles began to ache as if I had run a couple of hundred kilometres, which due to dilapidated energy levels, I almost believed that I had. I also began to experience intense headaches, which the detox guide attributes to the amount of toxins being released and flushed out of the body.
This may sound unappealing, nevertheless I must point out that the day after completing the detox I received a number of compliments on my skin. “It’s sort of… glowing,” I recall my mother saying. And since I am not pregnant and have made no other significant life changes, I will attribute this to the detox. I have also only regained about half a kilogram of the two that I lost since I commenced eating again.
In the ever-wise way in which those in Chinese medicine tend to know things simply by feeling one’s pulse, my acupuncturist also reported that my blood circulation had improved. And to eliminate any assumptions of bias, this was before I had informed him of my 48 hour challenge.
The fact is, beyond “everything in moderation”, there is no quick-fix solution or secret to successful weight-loss. But at the end of the day, when Summer is but a few weeks away, and you cannot trust anyone else in the world, scales will (sometimes unfortunately) never lie.
So if it makes you smile to see two less kilograms glaring back at you… well, sometimes that is all that you need.